halloflamer | POKEGEAR (MoM IC Contact)

What? No, no of course not.

[god he hopes blue does actually turn back to normal.]

It's basic human empathy, ya little turd. [said with a light amount of humour.]

[What meets Archie's joking insult is silence, which isn't a good sign.]

I don't get it...

[He clenches his blanket tighter. Hadn't he seen Red upset too...? So then why was he here, wasting his time?]

...Hey, guy. We were both in this same room, right? Me and Red...

[he opens his mouth to answer, but blue asks a... very uncomfortable question before he gets the chance to.]

Yeah.

[there's no elaboration, just yet. he wants to see what blue's going to ask.]

Then... We must be friends, right? [Look Archie, he's 11.] We're big, and we're friends?

[Blue squirms, and then sits up, rubbing his bleary eyes. He looks up at Archie, brows morosely knit, mouth wobbling.]

...You know who I am, right? My gramps is Samuel Oak. You must know who he is. Everyone does.

[he closes his eyes, sighs.]

...Yeah. You and Red, as I knew ya, were friends. [boyfriends, but he doesn't drop that bomb just yet. possibly won't. doesn't know if he should.] Good friends.

[archie looks back to blue.]

I know him, aye, and you.

[Blue looks away, jaw wobbling again, and wipes his eyes with his arm.]

...I'm...

I do everything I can, to be the best... Everyone tells me that I'm talented like gramps was when he was younger. They tell me I'm strong...

But I still can't beat Red. It's not enough... I don't understand...

[he tries to choose his next question carefully:] Does it feel like... the strength and intelligence you have means nothing when you can't do that?

[Blue is... quiet. Why is it that this guy seems to know what to say? Of course an 11 year old wouldn't realize how transparent he is, how common competitive sentiments, the feeling of all or nothing victory, can be at a young age. He thinks he has everyone fooled.]

[Finally he nods, just a little. He opens his mouth, and clenches it closed again, squirming around the words.]

[Then he mumbles into his knees.]

I have all the badges... I destroyed every Gym Leader I fought so far. I beat every trainer I come across, I catch every Pokémon... I'm doing everything right! But every time that loser catches up to me, I lose. Why??

Edited 2018-07-27 23:11 (UTC)

I don't know, [he admits.] As I knew you and Red and even now, you're both way above my level in terms of tactical minds. It seems like you're both quite the young prodigies.

[he sighs.]

I wish I could tell you what brings you two together, but I don't know. All I can say is it won't be the way it is forever. [...] And... I'm sure you've heard this a million times before, but no matter how you perform against Red in battle, you're still one of the top in the world, alright? That's just straight up in your future.

[Blue's fingers tighten in the quilt, staring down at it as his jaw tightens, fighting back further tears.]

It doesn't matter. If I'm not the best... if I don't beat Red, Gramps won't....

[He seems to stop himself, lips tightening again, but he can't help the tears welling up again and spilling.]

[After a long silence, he sniffs loudly.]

Blue...

[archie glances over at eevee, shifting to stand up. he's not sure he wants to know the end of that sentence, not to mention he can... probably guess it, based on what else blue has been saying.]

You're going to be alright, okay? No matter if you ever beat Red or not. I promise the people around you still see you as the intelligent strategist you are. Even if it's hard to see because adults aren't always great at talking about this stuff. You're loved no matter what. [he looks back to eevee.] I mean, just look at how your Pokémon feel about you.

[he doesn't even know if that's the right thing to say. he's scared of hurting blue, but at the same time... this poor kid might think he's gonna be abandoned.]

[For once, Eevee isn't ready to disembowel Archie; he's alert, but he's focused on the sniffling boy tangled up on the bed, and Archie isn't... doing anything bad for him, in this situation. Call it a truce.]

[He agrees, even, giving an emphatic] Vui vui!! [In agreement with his last statement, pawing at Blue's knee. It's hard for the little vulpine, who has already had to watch Blue go through this before.]

[Blue poorly tries to hide his sniffling, still, but the tears drip down his cheeks anyway until he finally has to acknowledge them by wiping his face into the blanket.] What if I'm not? What if I'm not good enough to be his grandson... Everyone expects me to!

[he reaches out to put a hand on blue's shoulder, using the other to move the blankets slightly so eevee can burrow in. archie can't imagine what blue must've gone through to think that his family wouldn't love him if he wasn't a good enough trainer-- while he understands that it's likely a warped point of view from a child, he also realises that it couldn't be entirely baseless. fears like this don't work like that.

his heart feels like it's about to bust out of his ribcage. every time he's seen blue hurt, it's made him feel terrible, especially all the times that it had been because of archie himself. the poor guy really, really doesn't deserve any of the stupid bullshit he's given him... not that archie ever believed that he did. if everything goes back to normal, he'll have to talk to blue about this, even if the idea makes searing anxiety of his ever-present fear of hurting blue more by being a stupid asshole rest in his stomach, making his skin feel like it's on fire.]

Of course you are, [he says again, sitting on the edge of the bed.] You don't have to prove that you're worthy of love, or anything. Oak would love you unconditionally just because you're there. You don't need to do anything for him to love you.

[he tries to smile reassuringly, though knows that this problem won't be solved in a single conversation.]

It's hard when they're not around to confirm that, but... Eevee loves you no matter what, see?

[Blue squirms under the hand uncomfortably and turns away, trying to ineffectually hide his face as he smears his tears away again. Everyone said that... Everyone assumed how proud his family must be of him. But even if people said that....] Like that changes anything...! [He sobs, interrupting Archie's response- 'just because you're there' ...]

[No one was ever there. Mom was gone. Daisy never understood. Red, who had always been a spacecase to begin with, drifted his attentions towards Pokémon as their coming of age drew nearer. And Gramps had never had time. He was busy with his work, and Blue knew that. He couldn't interrupt his important work.]

[But if Blue was the strongest, if he was the Champion, there was no way he could be ignored anymore, was there...? Then he was a serious trainer, someone to be respected, just like Gramps was. Then he wouldn't just be a distraction in the lab- he could help, if he could just fill the Pokédex before Red did, he'd be the one helping out, and then he couldn't just be in the way anymore.]

[And that meant Red was only a rival, a stepping stone. He couldn't be a friend anymore- not if he was in the way of Blue's only chance to get Gramps' attention back. His fists ball in the covers, shouting again.]

Like I care about... about if Pokémon pay attention to me! [Eevee's ears pin back, and droop, but he takes another tiny step forward and places his paw on Blue's leg again. He never meant it back then. He didn't mean it.] No one else does!

Edited 2018-08-05 20:20 (UTC)

[for what it's worth - not a lot, he suspects - archie shoots eevee an apologetic look. he doesn't know what blue was like, even he's seeing some of it now, he still never saw blue train his pokémon in a way similar to niko. archie can't tell how much of this is exacerbated by being an unwilling imPort, especially so young. he doesn't know that this is likely dredging up unpleasant memories for the small vulpine; he assumes it's just upset to see its trainer so distressed.

he keeps his hand on blue's shoulder, managing to suppress a flinch when blue shouts. archie looks away from the younger trainer briefly, down to the hardwood floor.] As I knew you, you'd been Ported in after just moving to Alola. Do you know that region? It's quite far away from Kanto... anyway, you [and red, but he doesn't mention that.] had been called over because of your fame and known prowess in battle to help run the place. It's... pretty big. Like, world tournament level. You spoke a lot of your sister and grandpa, too. You showed me how to properly care for Mightyena, the way someone who performs in contests would. You learned it from her. And Oak... I don't know, but you always spoke fondly of him. It's obvious that no matter what happens, you hold him in extremely high regard.

[archie looks back over to blue, concerned but still trying to smile lightly and reassuringly.]

I'm sure he feels the same about you, Blue. Even if you don't think it matters right now... the way your Pokémon love you is only indicative of a compassionate, skilled trainer. It's going to be okay. You're gonna get through this, alright? With them.

[Blue bites his wobbling lip, turned away from the man as he tells him... these things about his future. About what person he's going to be, what he's going to make of himself. Hearing about it is one thing, but being able to believe in it...]

[He turns away again, worries the blanket in his hands, and is quiet. Quiet and miserable looking, but there's something in his face like recognition, like Archie has finally said something that resonates with him. Maybe it isn't all a lie. Maybe...]

Daisy... [He mumbles quietly, wringing the blanket.] Daisy does those Contest competitions. Do you know those? They're a girly thing, but... she's really good, too. A Champion.

...I... If I can't be a Champion too, I'll be... [Useless. Undeserving of his name, who he is. Undeserving of love, or attention...]

[His mouth wobbles again as his mind drifts, in light of this information.] Hey, old guy. You said we're friends again, right? Me and Red.

[The misery in his expression only deepens.] I... I... [He sniffs, rubs at his eyes.] ...miss Red... I....

[The tears build and fall again, unable to catch them even as he covers his face with his hands.]

I know them. They're pretty big in Hoenn right now. Maybe you and her could come tour the region and check them out once you're done in Kanto, huh? [archie exhales lightly, slightly amused. a girly thing, honestly, blue...] She sounds pretty great, based on everything you could show me.

[he gives blue's shoulder a squeeze, deciding that maybe he actually should give more details about his future with red...]

Yeah. He was actually with you in Alola, to help you run the battle tree. You were working together. [archie falls silent as he considers how to continue.] You're with him back home and you're with him here now. No matter how you're gettin' along you're gonna end up together.

[he means literally, not... romantically. that's still not something he wants to talk to young blue about. fucking hopes the ten-year-old mind would work literally????]

[Blue squirms, shrugging his shoulders listlessly. A journey to another region... That wouldn't accomplish any of his goals, he thinks. What could he find there that he couldn't get in Kanto, where he'd still be near home? And besides, Red wouldn't be there...]

[...Speaking of, he sniffles, looking up at Archie with a mix of hope and disbelief on his face. Red was... with him? He wrinkles up his nose, but something about that knowledge makes him anxious in a way he doesn't entirely dislike, either. Nerves, but not dread. He isn't thinking about it like that, no- he doesn't know what to think of it, but he squirms again under Archie's hand, trying to shrug him off limply, wanting to think on that on his own.]

...Whatever... I guess you sure seem to know a lot, so maybe you aren't lying... [He says slowly, expression still not entirely trusting, but at least a bit eased from his earlier misery. Just a bit.] ...But you should still go bug Red, now.

[he drops his hand the moment blue starts squirming, shifting back a little to give the kid more room. archie raises his own shoulder in a shrug.]

I have no reason to lie to you.

[...arcues, he hopes blue doesn't remember that with the whole fucking... gym leader thing. why didn't he just say he's just a regular trainer? archie regrets being stupid. he does get up, though, seeing that there's no point prolonging his stay here. best to leave blue and eevee to themselves.]

I'm going downstairs, not to Red. ...Unless he's downstairs. Anyway, dinner's ready and there's some stuff for Eevee as well. Gimme a shout if you need anything, yeah?

[Blue gives Archie a distrustful look at that- isn't that the kind of thing adults say when they lie?- but he doesn't argue it.]

[Maybe the guy really was trying to help... But nothing would. Not anything that would give him what he really wanted or needed. Gramps wasn't here. But Red... Maybe Red.....]

[Blue nods sullenly. His stomach grumbles and he squirms, trying not to think about it. Whatever, he'll just sneak down there later, when the guy forgets about him again.]

...Yeah. Okay. [He mumbles, autopilot, like he's answering Daisy again. He had to think for a little while...]

POKEGEAR (MoM IC Contact)

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