POKEGEAR (MoM IC Contact)

[halloflamer]

"The name's Blue! I'm busy right now, so leave me a message, and maybe if I like you enough I'll respond... hahaha!

Smell ya later!"

[TEXT | VOICE | VIDEO]

Comments

[versusseeker]

[It's Red's hand that flinches away this time. He doesn't mean to recoil, but the sudden outburst is shocking, and then...staggering. It leaves Red staring dumbly at Blue for a few heavy seconds, blinking while a lump forms in his throat.

[He swallows it down, but it forms again almost as soon as he does.

[Selfish? He'd never want to be selfish. The idea that he might be is a little dizzying. Red, who never puts himself first, who is always thinking of people that need help, who is always worrying about his friends, about Blue specifically...

[Selfish? Is he selfish? There are ways he could be selfish, maybe, he thinks...Staying silent - selfish, getting jealous - selfish, not paying attention sometimes when Blue's rambling - selfish.

[It's harder for him to correlate it to letting the animals go. He knows he should have done it differently. That's been made abundantly clear. But he didn't do it for him, he did it for them--

[Still, all he can really say is "I'm sorry". But he can't even really say that with his throat so tight. Another easy sign. He takes the hand that Blue should be holding and puts it in a fist over his heart, then makes a circle.

[At his side, Pikachu puts its ears back and gently bunts its trainer in the side.

[He didn't mean that, Red. You're not.]

[halloflamer]

[It's so painful, seeing Red's face stricken like that again, that he can't breathe. He thought he was done with this. It was his promise- to Red, to himself, even to Pikachu. Never hurt him again. Things were different now. He was different.]

[But he hasn't changed at all. He's the selfish one, and he always will be.]

[Blue's face sinks into his hands, fingers gripping in his hair, and he just sits like that whispering, voice barely a breath in its hopelessness.]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I...

[versusseeker]

[Red's shoulders sink while he watches Blue's face go into his hands. Slowly, somewhat nervously, he lays a hand on Blue's back. He tries to say something a couple of times, but each time the words get stuck in his throat.

[He doesn't want Blue to beat himself up like this...]

It's...okay.

[His voice is almost as quiet as Blue's, so quiet that he's afraid the other might not hear him, but signing isn't an option when Blue can't see him. He leans forward to press his face into the man's shoulder.]

I'm sorry. I am.

[halloflamer]

[The hand on his back only makes his shoulders curl in slightly, fighting back desperately the quiet whimper of a first sob threatening to spill forth. Even his own remorse felt selfish and wasteful, now.]

[He never misses a wisp of Red's voice, but the man's words don't make sense to him. They're lies, and he knows they are. There's no way he's okay. He knows when Red is hurting, because he knows how to hurt him better than anyone.]

[The face pressed to his shoulder earns a jump, and he finally shifts his bleary eyes out of his palms just enough for the light to reach them.] You don't... [Have to lie, have to protect me, he wants him to know, but the assurance feels pointless. And he's already said enough today. Better to stop now and keep everything inside again, where at least it can't hurt Red anymore.]

Y'should catch up with your team.

[versusseeker]

[Red sits up away from Blue when he jumps, staring at him with more dumb blinking. The half-hearted suggestion cuts like a knife. Blue doesn't want to talk to him anymore, then.

[He must have really messed up.

[He drops his eye to his knees, still kneeling there in the grass, but nods weakly.]

[halloflamer]

[Blue draws in a shaking breath, but steadfastly keeps his mouth shut. No more damage, he tells himself again.]

[Red hasn't made any motion to leave yet, and Blue isn't willing to be the first either- it's been days, and despite his anger he's been terribly lonely in the meantime. They fall into a cold silence there, the only sound the rustling of grass and the trickling flow of water around them.]